That's a Pats-Cats Super Bowl in Houston, and Alan Ray asks, "Where else in Texas will you find 60,000 screaming football fanatics with beers in their hands? Except on the highways, of course.''

-- CBS has only a handful of 30-second spots left unsold for its Super Bowl telecast, at an average cost of $2.3 million a spot, according to the New York Daily News. Viagra, Levitra and Cialis will be among the sponsors. Who would have thought our economy would get such a boost from erectile dysfunction?

-- From Walt Giachini of Novato: "English teacher: 'Can anyone give me an example of irony?' Student: 'J.J. Stokes is signed by the Patriots and gets to go to the Super Bowl'?"

-- "I'm only surprised I didn't hear Chris Berman say it,'' says Scott Mason of Woodside. "Peyton Manning fought Ty Law, and Ty Law won."

-- "Donovan McNabb could have easily completed the game," says Jerry Norton of Corte Madera, "if only he'd had help from Rush Limbaugh's housekeeper at halftime."

-- "Now that Jeff Garcia is facing a salary reduction in 2004,'' says Ken Isola of Menlo Park, "perhaps he can make up some of the difference representing a local limousine service."

-- In the beer commercial, the infamous me-firster Leon says, "This is a team game, and I have to put the loss squarely on the shoulders of my supporting cast." Tampa Bay strong safety John Lynch, doing online commentary for Foxsports.com during the playoffs, said of the commercials: "Especially like the Budweiser one with Keyshawn ... I mean Leon."

How's that again?: During the Cubs Convention in Chicago, manager Dusty Baker admitted to the fans he was still in vacation mode. According to the Chicago Tribune, he referred to Kenny Lofton as a possible leadoff candidate in '04. When fans pointed out that Lofton wasn't on the team anymore, Baker turned to general manager Jim Hendry and said "Sorry, Jim." "That's OK," Hendry responded. "We might get him again in July."

-- Maryland's Gary Williams, one of 12 college basketball coaches whose faces appear in EA Sports' new "NCAA March Madness 2004" video game, says it's a big advantage in recruiting. "You get in a lot of living rooms with that game," he told the Washington Post. "Of course, I don't even know how to plug it in."

-- J.P. Morgan Chase's purchase of Bank One prompts Dave Bueche of San Francisco to wonder if the Diamondbacks' home still would be nicknamed "the BOB.'' "Apparently the name will stay the same,'' says Bueche. "We all thought SBC Park was bad, but can you imagine 'The Morg'?"

-- "It was a beautiful weekend,'' says Alex Kaseberg. "I was going to throw the football around my backyard, but I was afraid my neighbors would think I was on Levitra."

Get out the yellow card: "Sepp Blatter, the head of FIFA, soccer's world governing body, says that in order to increase the popularity of women's soccer, players should consider wearing more feminine outfits such as hot pants,'' says Jay Bijan of Belmont. "He also thinks that, in order to show their appreciation to the winning team, fans should slip money into players' uniforms."

-- Bob Wolfley of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel thinks Blatter would be a better fit as "commissioner of the Lingerie Bowl."

-- Syndicated columnist Norman Chad: "Here's a quickie quiz for you on Eastern Conference basketball: Who is the Milwaukee Bucks' leading scorer? Who coaches the Atlanta Hawks right now? Who is the Toronto Raptors' top rebounder? Answers do not appear below because I don't know them."

-- A 14-year-old girl just misses the cut in the PGA Tour event? Sure. Next thing you'll tell me is the Chicago Bears have a head coach named Lovie.

Source : http://www.sfgate.com