He must have been running out of products because Wednesday he interrupted Super Bowl week by pitching a treatment for ... ummm ... erectile dysfunction.

The pretense was to present a plaque to New Orleans' Deuce McAllister for being involved in the NFL's "Play of the Year," sponsored by the drug Levitra.

But many in the audience came to hear Ditka, the fabled Iron Mike, discuss ... as I said ... erectile dysfunction. It was like attending a NASCAR race for the crashes or a horror movie to be horrified.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe journalists came looking for free samples. Maybe they merely wanted the free "Levitra" ballpoint pen.

Me? I was there because whenever Ditka talks, snorts or belches, you better listen. If the subject is ... erectile dysfunction ... anything is possible.

As it was, it was unsettling to hear Mike Ditka, of all people, hawking this item.

Now today when I listen to Tom Brady and Jake Delhomme, I'll be thinking some day they're going to need Levitra. Even guys with names like Tedy "Brewski" Bruschi and Rod "He Hate Me" Smart likely will.

Who wants to be reminded that football legends grow old? It would be difficult enough to hear them talk about vitamin deficiency, much less ... you know ... erectile dysfunction.

Consider for a moment that Levitra competes with Viagra and Cialis.

Rafael Palmeiro endorsing Viagra is OK. Baseball players aren't macho like football players. Cialis becoming the title sponsor of the Western Open is OK, too. Golfers aren't macho compared to most athletes.

But Mike Ditka endorsing Levitra is like Rambo endorsing hand lotion. Ditka himself couldn't have imagined it. Not back in the day he couldn't.

"Iron Mike?" he said. "Come on, cut it out." But then he adds, "That's all bull(bleep). If I was Iron Mike, I wouldn't have had four hip replacements."

Read it and weep, all you young studs out there. Looming are fake hips, heart problems and ... erectile dysfunction. It's possible your prostate will grow the size of the Lombardi Trophy and your medicine cabinet will overflow with, well, medicine.

At least your football memories should be allowed to remain what they were, shouldn't they, even if your memory can't?

Yes, there Ditka was, out in public discussing a private matter as if it were just another football play.

Ditka's pitch is that erectile dysfunction could be a symptom of something more serious. The way he put it, "You wake up one day and the next day and know something's wrong."

Ah, but this product is mostly about performing. Ditka opened himself up to being asked whether it helps.

"You have to ask your partner," he said with a grin.

Anyway, I don't want to hear Mike Ditka talk about this anymore. What's next, Madonna taking money to endorse a product to control incontinence?

"If you don't admit there's a problem, if you don't correct the problem," Ditka said, "what are you going to do?"

How about just letting me keep thinking an Iron Mike Ditka is still out there someplace in the world?

Source : http://www.dailyherald.com